


Enough

by jess_louisee_1995



Category: Berena - Fandom, Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-21 00:50:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14905361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jess_louisee_1995/pseuds/jess_louisee_1995
Summary: Bernie is back to bring Serena home. She needs to open her unit, but with Serena still here when she doesn't need to be, Bernie is left wondering if she still holds a place in Serena's life?





	Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Based on what I saw in the trailers. How I envisage it and imagine it playing out. Hope you all enjoy, been a while since I wrote anything

She stood in the doorway, the ghost of a smile etched upon her face. What she’d first feared when she made the nearly five thousand mile journey had been just that at the time- a pure fear. But now, in front of her it was very much a reality. It was as real as all the other fears of her life- yet this one scared her far more than all of her others combined and multiplied. And she knew why- it would destroy her. 

She watched the three, sorry four, quiet and unobserved in their happy bubble. She’s never been so far apart from her- even when they’d been at opposite ends of the world. Maintaining a long distance relationship had been hard on them both, each of them feeling the added stresses of the distance between them. But still then she had felt like they still had something. They’d both been through the ringer in the last few years and she had been looking forward to the next chapter of their life starting together, but now she realised that the place responsible for bringing them together in the first place, was quite possibly the place that had pulled them apart. 

The hospital had clearly suffered at the hands of Frederik and when Hanssen had asked Serena to help him by helping the hospital, Bernie had known what Serena would say. After the way Serena had been looked after by Hanssen when she’d lost her only child, she knew that Serena would only be too happy to return to the hospital on a temporary basis- because after all, she had an inkling of what Hanssen was going through. She hadn’t minded at all when Serena had returned. It was her selfless nature that was one of the things Bernie loved most about her. Bernie also knew that being back in the hospital would allow Serena to put to bed the skeletons she still had, as well as tying up the rest of her loose ends and seeing Jason, before returning to Nairobi to be back by her side- where Bernie had thought she belonged. 

But then the weeks had stretched into months, and Serena was still at the hospital. The news about Jason becoming a dad has been a big shock for Bernie when Serena had told her- and that was when the first seeds of doubt had begun to be sown into her own mind. Jason was Serena’s blood- she thought of Jason as her own son and him becoming a father would give Serena even more reason to be attached to Holby. Bernie knew Serena as well as, if not better than she knew herself and she knew that walking away from her niece would quite possibly break Serena’s heart. 

So, sensing that Serena might need a push in the right direction, Bernie had flown across the world to be with her; to remind her that they had a whole new start waiting for them and to prove herself wrong. She could see how much the ward had changed in her absence, but she managed to reconnect with Donna and swore her to secrecy over her return until Serena arrived on the ward later that morning. And, at first it seemed like Bernie had been right to come. She would never forget the look on Serena’s face when she’d found her in her office earlier that day. They’d locked eyes for a split second and Bernie saw her eyes mist over with unshed sparkling tears. It made her smile even wider. 

‘I was trying to tell you…’ Donna never got to finish her sentence as Serena raced around and planted her lips on Bernie’s. Never mind they were in full view of the ward- they hadn’t seen each other in months. The rest of the world could wait for a while- they were back with each other. 

‘Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?’ Serena pulled back from Bernie several seconds later, panting slightly. 

‘I… I wanted to surprise you’

‘Well you achieved that’

‘I… I just wanted to see you’

‘It’s been so long, I almost forgot what you looked like’

‘Almost, but not quite?’  
R  
‘I could never forget you Bernie, never ever’

Bernie’s smile widened as Serena laced her fingers through her. She had put everything on hold in Nairobi to come back and get Serena.  
‘So, why now?’

‘Sorry?’

‘Why come back now? Today?’

‘The unit is ready to open’

‘You did it. I’m so proud of you’

‘You mean, we did it Serena. This was our project… our new start. You… you do still want to come right?’

‘Oh yes of course, there’s just so much to organise’

‘That’s why I’m here, to help.’

‘Help?’

‘I won’t open without you Serena. I want you by my side when we open, back together’

Serena had been about to reply when Donna had opened the door and said that Greta was on the ward complaining of stomach pain. Serena had tried to treat her but Greta had declined because she was ‘family’. Seeing the smile on Serena’s face when Greta had said she was family had been slightly unnerving- she was supposed to be tying up loose ends to be back with her. Trying to get involved, Bernie examined Greta and diagnosed her as lactose intolerant. 

But then Serena had been called into theatre and everyone had been surprised when Bernie had followed in her wake scrubbed in ready to lend a hand. But she was a brilliant surgeon, and back in the knowledge they were together, the operation went without a hitch. They were the dream team when they were in theatre- they worked as one like always. 

'I'd forgotten how much I love working with you in theatre'

'It will be like this every day when we're reunited'

'Oh, Bernie are you coming home?' Donna interjected, thinking she'd get to see operations like this every day.

'No, Serena is... you haven't told them?'

'No, not yet'

'You... you're not leaving?' Donna asked Serena

'That was always the plan'

'Was? Still is as far as I'm aware. Have things changed Serena?'

'Bernie...'

'Ladies, this conversation shouldn't be happening. Now isn't the time or the place... save it for later'

So Bernie buttoned her mouth and left it, until after the operation and she was alone with Serena.  
'Serena, I need to know'

'Know what?'

'What are you still doing here? You came back to help the hospital out of its crisis, but the hospital isn't in crisis anymore. And you're still here, why?'

'Jason and Greta need me'

'What about me? Don't I need you?'

'Yes, but...'

'You could come and visit them, we both will. But, Serena, this unit is everything we've ever talked about. That night in the vineyard remember?'

'Of course I do'

'I want that closeness again... I felt like we were as close as we ever had been'

'We haven't lost it Bernie'

'But I think we have. You've changed Serena. We used to want the same things, now I'm not so sure. You want to be here with Jason and Greta'

'Bernie....'

Once again they'd been interrupted. Greta had gone into labour. It seemed that Bernie had misdiagnosed her and the stomach cramps she'd experienced were the early onset of labour. Bernie had found Serena's hand and they'd clung to each other. Watching Greta bring her niece into the world was a joy for Serena and Bernie saw it in her face. 

But now, here she was, stood in the doorway and it was dawning on her- she couldn't possibly make Serena choose between here and Nairobi. The baby girl deserved to have a proper family, and Jason would definitely need Serena now more than ever. She began to see that Serena needed to be here and not with her. It was time to face facts... Bernie had to let Serena go. She could feel the tears building in her eyes, so turning around, she walked away. 

'Auntie Serena?'

'Yes Jason'

'Are you going to let Bernie walk away?'

'Walk away, what do you mean?'

'She's been watching you for a long time. She's just started to cry and walked away'

'What?'

'Auntie Serena, don't make the same mistake as you did two years ago. Don't let her walk out on you.'

'But you need me Jason'

'Serena, Jason has me and Storm. Bernie and you only have each other. We'll still be here' Serena looked at Greta in surprise. She was cradling her newborn daughter who they'd named Storm, despite Serena's protests. Greta was like her, a woman who knew what she wanted and didn't let anyone deter her. 

'So, you think I should leave and go with her?'

'Auntie Serena, I know you love her and Greta is right. We aren't going anywhere. Talk to her, don't let her walk away. You've lost Elinor, you can't lose Bernie as well'

Bernie, meanwhile, had picked up her bag in the office. It would be easier for her to leave without saying goodbye, but she knew that she couldn't abandon Serena again, not after what had happened after Kiev. Sinking to the floor, she hid her head in her hands. 

'Bernie...?'   
Looking up through her hair, Bernie saw Serena standing in the doorway smiling nervously. Seeing her like that made Bernie shudder, what was she about to do?

'Serena, we can't go on like this'

'I know'

'I love you'

'And I love you'

'It should be enough'

'Should be?'

'It should be enough to make this... make us work'

'Isn't it?'

'Honestly, I don't think it is'

'Bernie, this is beginning to sound like you're breaking up with me'

'Maybe I am'

'What?'

'Serena, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. I love you so much that I have to let you go. Your place is here with your family. I can see that now and it was selfish of me to try and take you from them. I didn't want to believe we were drifting apart, but it's obvious we don't belong together anymore. I have to let you go and it's the hardest thing I'll ever do. Please don't hate me, I love you so much, remember that'

Bernie suppressed the sob rising in her throat and quickly left the office. She hated goodbyes, especially when she didn't want to. She wanted to be with Serena, but she had a new family now. It was time she tried to move on. Her pep talk did little to encourage her, and as the lift doors closed behind her, Bernie let the tears fall. 

Should she have fought for Serena? Should she have done things differently? Bernie didn't know the answers to her questions and right now she couldn't think straight. Crying wasn't something she did regularly, but today she'd opened the floodgates and couldn't stop her emotions. The lift dropped to the floor and Bernie rushed out, not looking behind her and she bumped straight into Fletch. 

'Bernie... what are you doing here?'

'Just leaving Fletch'

'Does Serena know you're here?' When Fletch said her name, Bernie began to cry. Fletch looked at her confused before wrapping his arms around her and embracing her. 

'What's happened?'

'I've just broken up with Serena' 

'What? Why?'

'She's still here months after she said she would be back. She wants to be with Jason and Greta, she doesn't need me anymore. It's best for me to let her go'

'Best for who? Because you're very upset and I am guessing Serena feels the same. You love her right?'

'Of course'

'Why isn't that enough?'

'I thought it was. But she doesn't need me anymore, she'll be better off without me'

'She clearly doesn't think that. Look'

Bernie barely had time to turn around before Serena had flown into her arms kissing her furiously. It took Bernie a split second to kiss her back, vowing to remember this kiss forever. 

'How can you think I'm better off without you?'

'Because you are Serena. You're life is with your family'

'Bernie, you're my family too. We have drifted apart, but I love you more than anything. The fact we love each other is enough for me- is it for you?'

'Serena, I can't keep a long distance relationship on the go. You might love me, I love you, but I'm not your family. Believe me, I'm not doing this lightly'

'You think letting me go is the best thing for me? I'm not going to let you go, you're my absolute world. If I lost you, I lose everything'

'So, how do we make this work Serena?'

'I don't know, losing you would kill me'

It's killing me too, but how can we be together at opposite ends of the world? My place is in Nairobi, your place is here. I'm not going to make you choose'

'Bernie, you are just as much my family, if not more.'

'There nice words Serena, but it's not practical. This can't work. Not in the long term'

'Why can't it?' Plenty of people have long distance relationships for years. Look at soilders who are away for years at a time'

'You mean like me and Marcus? Look how that panned out?'

'Me and Edward weren't much better and we were living together for years. My point is Bernie, this can work if we want it to'

'Can it?'

'And we wouldn't be apart all the time. Like now for instance, I'm taking extended leave'

'To do what exactly?'

'Come to Nairobi'

'Sorry?'

'I am not going to lose you Bernie, this was always in my plans. You are the most important person I have in my life, I am going to be with you always. Until death do us part'

'That's a wedding vow'

'I know'

Serena pulled the box out of her pocket. Bernie stared at her, dumbfounded.   
'What's this?'

'My way of proving how serious I am to you. Losing you would kill me Bernie. I need you to know how much I need you. So needs must'

'You bought me a ring? Serena, I don't know what to say'

'Technically, I didn't buy it. It was my mother's. I intended to pass it to Ellie when she got married but obviously that will never happen, so this is the best way. Bernie, I love you, please marry me?'

************************************************

It was sunset. Bernie watched it with an unwavering gaze as the fiery red orb sank deeper and deeper beyond the horizon. Threads of light threaded the sky, turning it a deep shade of purple until the disappearance of the sun turned the sky a shade similar to a chalkboard. 

She was drawn away from the sky by the door closing. Smiling to herself, she glanced out at the building. 

'Ready?'

'Ready for anything as long as I have you by my side Serena'

'This is a new start for us Bernie. Starting with our wedding'  
Serena held Bernie's hand and glanced at the ring sat on her finger. This was the start of their new life, together and apart. Bernie would stay in Nairobi and run the ward. Serena was going to start running the ward but then return to Holby at some point in the future to help Jason and Greta. 

'You know how much I love you Bernie?'

'I believe I do Serena, because I feel exactly the same about you. You know when you return home?'

'It's not my home Bernie, my home is wherever you are.'

'Really?'

'Yes.'

'When you return to Holby, I think I might come too. This place will always be special for me Serena, it brought me to you'

Serena smiled at Bernie and turned away to start the ignition. Bernie continued to stare outside at the hospital on her left. This place would always hold a piece of her heart as long as Serena kept coming back. 

Who knew where either of then would be in a year, but one thing was sure, they'd still be together. Because they loved each other and it was enough.


End file.
